It's really hard to quantify how it feels to be soooo excited about something and want it to be over - in equal measures.
Having hit the school holidays and taper at the same time has been great in many ways. I feel rested, due to no early starts and more afternoon naps than I've ever had. I've had time to get organised and yet I can't believe that after weeks of fantasising about the joy of taper, I've actually felt like a horse being reigned back in the starting stalls. Good weather and time on my hands has had me chomping at the bit to do more. But I'm not daft and I've stayed in the stable and chomped from my nose bag instead. Essential fuelling has included a few cheeky cakes and glasses of wine. I know that needs to stop this week.
But I've also had loads of time to prepare. In previous races I'd get messages of support from more experienced triathletes telling me to: "Stick to the plan on race day." I'd agree enthusiastically. Then wonder: "What plan?!" Well I'm proud to announce that this time I have a plan, of sorts.
I also have lists. Lists of kit. Lists of nutrition. I've sat down with IronPhil and reviewed the bike and run course. Noted all the feed stations. Spots where I can expect to see some family support. I have a rough plan of what to eat, when and where. I've broken it all down into bite-size segments. I've run through it in my mind, over and over again. I've practised puncture repair. Had my wheels on and off; inner tubes in and out, inflated and deflated. Big Seb, ironhero and ninja bike man, has kindly fettled my trusty Trek and declared her ready to go. I know where I'm staying before and after the race; when I'm registering; when I'm testing out the waters of Pennington Flash; what time I 'm getting up on race morning. (3.30am - ouch). Wow, even I'm impressed! I can do being organised quite well, if I couldn't I wouldn't have even got this far. But this is a step beyond, even for me. Not a trace of flying by the seat of my pants this time round. It's probably an indication of just how much it matters.
It's not about the money. Yeh, an entry fee of £398 is pretty motivating. But the time I've invested in training far outweighs the financial investment, tenfold. All those hours when I wasn't with my husband, sons, friends, work, resting, chilling, socialising. Plus, I've bared my soul in this blog and can no longer sneak into this quietly. I'm excited, nervous and slightly paranoid.
As I finished my last long bike ride this week I was fighting irrational fears about falling off or crashing. I was glad to get back fully intact. I'm now carrying around anti-bacterial hand gel & wipes. It's hard to look normal as you wander around the supermarket trying to discreetly wipe down shopping trolleys and toilet door handles. I'm sure Dave Brailsford would approve though - marginal gains and all that!
Trying to get enough quality sleep is tough though, especially with teenage sons. While my mind and body want to be in bed by 10pm. My 16-year-old's social life has other plans. Midnight mum-taxi's. World-Cup sleepovers. Midday catapult assisted water-bomb battles, as I try to nap in the sunny garden. In fact, if anybody wants to provide an 'ironman in training quiet sleepover room' for tonight's final, I'll be booking in. Instead, I appear to be hosting six teenage football fans for an all-night party! Thank God for earplugs.
It would be odd if it was any different. I subtitled this blog: 'A busy mum's ironman journey' because despite all my determined focus, the bottom line is that I am just an ordinary middle-aged mum, trying to complete a personal challenge. That's all. This week, I read through dozens of messages on the Ironman Facebook site, all explaining their personal reasons for tackling the race. I was humbled. So many of the 2000 participants have such worthy reasons for being on that start line next Sunday. Sure there are the age-group athletes out to smash it. But, I was positively blubbing as I read about women and men who had lost serious amounts of weight and now felt fit enough to take on the race. People who were raising money in memory of loved ones who had died from cancer or heart disease. So many who admitted to only just learning to swim or cycle this year. One particularly touching story of a woman who was celebrating losing weight and being in remission from cervical cancer and a man who had trained with a colleague, the colleague had died a few weeks ago and he was completing this in his memory. Oh my. It totally put this into perspective. A busy working mum? Is that all - no excuses then!
There is something quite special about joining others in the unifying challenge of pushing yourself beyond the limits of what most people would consider possible. That's what makes it so appealing.
What's my motivation? Well, it's just to see if I can. Just like George Mallory's reason for climbing Mount Everest - 'because it's there'.
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